I'm alive. A bit of a mental affliction, but alive.

I updated the stylesheet on my LJ to a fun, funky layout... just 'cause, really. I've been playing with stylesheets on another journal I'm starting (a fic journal, which I will not be linking to from here because I'd kinda like to keep the absolutely craziness of my sudden, strong Merlin obsession away from my "personal" stuff as much as possible... we'll see how that goes) and will be doing so again for a community as well. So I figured, well. It'll take me all of five minutes, why not use one of the layouts I liked but just wouldn't work for the Merlin stuff on my personal journal!

And hey, while I'm at it, why not post!

Only, I don't have a whole lot to say. I'm wanting to start updating again, as I always am, but already with the many side projects I've decided to take on ALL AT ONCE because I am INSANE, I'm finding myself with not enough hours in the day to get through all the things I need to be doing.

So here's my quick update:

I am twenty-eight now. How the fuck did that happen?

Working part time, going to school part time. Taking three classes: Screenwriting, Culture & The Media, and Interpersonal Communication.

Broke up with Dax about a year ago. About time to start dating again, I guess. Meh.

Puppy's doing fine, he's as lovable as ever. Had a horribly itchy summer, though... the fleas were crazy.

Everyone and their mother is living at home right now. It really tries your patience. I'm starting to really remember why I ran off to San Luis Obispo.

Val and I have an Etsy shop: bohemianstorm.etsy.com! Go look at the pretties, tell your friends.

When our Etsy shop does well, or when I've sold off a kidney on the black market, we are going to go hang around France and try not to be creepy. Hopefully in May-ish of next year. We'll see.

---

So there you have it. Wish me luck with my CSS adventures, and now I gotta go finish up a beta I've been working on slowly all week, in between numerous distractions!

Post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love -- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post as many times as you like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.

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I honestly believe that every once in awhile people need an anonymous outlet. That's why whenever it pops to mind, I post this little meme and see what I get back.

IP logging is off.

And for those of you who see this on Facebook and wanna play along (you know, the whole anonymous thing): http://a_saving_grace.livejournal.com. Post there, and make sure you're logged out if you have an LJ of your own.

Now it's definitely my bed time.

1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
Yup. Besides, anything I don't want to answer? "Bite me."

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
Um. Yeah, that'd be Corey. Levin.

And for the record? WTF. C'mon, survey. Just ask who the last person I texted was. You're a survey, you're  not required to be clever. Besides, I barely missed my answer being my fourteen year-old niece.

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
I'm not sure yet. I'm still pretty sleepy and annoyed about that. I will most likely fall back into a coma at some point here.

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
Actually on the phone chatting? With Clay, yesterday evening, when I was at the grocery store.

5. What is the last thing someone bought you?
I honestly can't remember. But I'm sure it was recent enough that somebody's offended reading this right now.

6. What’s something that can always make you feel better?
Laughter.

7. What are you excited for?
Schooool! Getting the pendant stuff up today, FINALLY, because I found that nifty Flickr downloader.

8. What were you doing yesterday?
My computer was attached to my hip yesterday. I know, when isn't it?

9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Dax. *Awkward.* (But sweet...)

10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Man. I have absolutely no witty/naughty answer for this. I am BORING.

Water.

11. Have a best friend?
I'd probably say I have a few.

12. Are you scared to fall in love?
Not at all. Love is like oxygen. Love is a many-splendored thing! Love lifts you up where we belong. All you need is love!

13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
Yes.

Mind you, it's a very naive, immature sort of love. But I believe they feel it to a certain extent. But "real" love needs to feed off a healthy, mature relationship to make it grow.

14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
Betsy McCaughey.

15. What time is it right this second?
9:19 a.m. PST

16. What do you want right now?
A massage. Back's killing me.

17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Katie, in the movie theater waiting for Moon to start.

19. When was the last time you cried?
Friday evening. Douchebag.

What happened to 18?

20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
I have a great relationship with my father. My mother passed away, and she and I had a pretty rocky relationship, because I was still in my Teenage Asshole stage.

21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
Not really. I'm probably trusting to a fault.

22. How fast does your mind change?
Um. It usually takes moving mountains to change my mind when I'm convinced of something, but if I were on the fence in the first place, it's not hard at all. In fact, in some cases, it has been people's favorite game to play: Make Kim Teeter Back and Forth on the Fence!

23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
Winner winner chicken dinner.

24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
Yup. We all are.

25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
Immaturity.

26. Tell me what's on your mind.
That I need to take some pain meds because my back is killing me, which means my legs are aching as well.

27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
Doing well in my classes.
Seeing how the pendant business grows.
Hopefully Jay getting his orders which would be yay in and of itself, and alleviating some room in this house, which would be double yay.
Getting past the application process for school so I don't have to worry about it anymore.
HALLOWEEN PARTY! (I am so not gonna fit my dress...)

28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
I used to steal Jason's jeans to wear to middle school.

29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
What is this, myspace?

30. When is your next road trip?
Nothing planned. L.A. doesn't count. (Even then, nothing for sure planned, but I'm sure as soon as Val gets back.)

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
Yes. I'm pretty  much an open book.

32. How's your heart?
Lil' bit lonely.

33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Of course. Everyone has.

34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
Nope.

35. What are you planning on doing after this?
Mmmmf. I guess drag my ass out of bed.

36. When will your next kiss take place?
Do people plan these sort of things?

37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
I haven't even spoken with anyone today. But I love you all, you know that. Seriously. So there. YES.

38. Who do you not get along with?
Rigid people.

39. What does your 3rd recent text say?
Ummmm.

From someone else: "driving"
From me to someone else: "Ahem. Hi."
Both: "You're really good at updating, too!"

Sorry, survey. Not even close to juicy.

40. What are you wearing right now?
T-shirt and undies. I'm in bed!

41. Are you wasting your time on the person you like?
Did my brother when he was feeling really douchebag-y put you up to this question? (Cue Ashleigh Laughter in 5, 4, 3, 2...)

42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
Oh wow. It's been a few months now.

43. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
Well. Sheesh. This depends. It changes. And I like a lot of names. And you know, if we're talking about this in the sense of actually having to name another human being, there would be input from my partner to consider, no? And... OVERTHINKING.

Okay, fine.

Boy: Henry. I know it's old-fashioned. It was my Grandpa's name, and I would like to name a boy after him in some form (perhaps middle). I am trying really hard not to just start listing more names right now. I will stop here.

Girl: Hannah. Right now. This changes a LOT.

44. How did you feel when you woke up?
Tired. Sore.

45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
Text, sure. I have a froggy voice right now.

People don't tend to call me, they text me. I think it's my laugh. ;D i can't remember the last time I had a very long phone conversation. Which is a shame, really. Thanks technology!

46. Do you crack your knuckles?
I have and do on occasion, sure.

47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
Um. Yelling at Facebook chat. SENDING.

I am all over the place today.

I woke up with that familiar feeling in my right eye (always the right one...), as if there was someone stabbing the back of my eye with a fork. Usually a normal dose of pain meds would make it go away and I could go back to sleep, but instead I laid in a haze of pain from about six a.m. on, having taken twice the normal dose with no relief. I was hesitant to take an allergy pill due to the coma it puts me in, so instead of doing that I wound up in the bath at 8 a.m. trying to not induce even more pain by scalding my already-burnt skin, but yet keeping the water warm enough where the steam would help with my sinuses. Oh, and trying not to fall asleep and drown.

I never did get back to sleep, though I'm pretty sure I dozed in the bath. And now it's noon and I feel extremely discombobulated and vaguely unhappy and unsettled. I'm passing on the beach today due to extreme need of an afternoon off from a mob of people, considering there will be people here for BBQ later (though I'm still unsure of how many, people keep making plans over each other).

---

I've been really neglecting this livejournal, and I hate it. I need to get into the habit of posting more often, so that I won't keep spamming my Facebook or Twitter quite as often. Not that I really mind that so much, but I think it's a bad habit I've gotten in where I've gotten so far away from long form writing -- of any form.

It's extremely strange to me how many things in my life I used to simply identify myself by have gone by the wayside. I don't know how I feel about it, either... if it's just the natural course of things, or if I'm doing myself a disservice by neglecting things that are so core to my being. It was at its worse when I was with Dax, because -- even though he's a great guy and I still love him a lot in that fond manner -- I really did lose myself when I was with him. Life became and revolved about how he was doing, and there wasn't any room for how I was doing.

These past few months have been great overall. I've been spending a lot of time going up to L.A., which is a step in the right direction because that was one of those things that had fallen by the wayside, and Val and I are working on some crafty stuff which will hopefully be some supplementary income sooner than not. Despite the good, though, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how strangely lonely I get when I'm here in San Diego. I love my family, but somehow even when I'm surrounded by them sometimes I feel very alone.

I had mentioned to Val before that it was likely that if Dax and I hadn't gotten together when we did, instead of starting my current job down here I would have likely moved to L.A. There'd be a much higher chance in L.A. that I'd be doing something for a living that I actually had some long-term interest in (as opposed to what I'm doing right now), with the added bonus of having more "real life" friends up there than I do down here (which is pretty sad, because when I was like OMG BRYAN YOU MUST COME TO DINNER!!! yesterday, he was vaguely confused... thinking I lived in L.A.. I need and really want to get to know these people better).

It's more complicated nowadays. I did stay down here, and while it's getting back to that point where I've been thinking long and hard on making a move sooner than not, now I do have a job that I've been in for three years, which I get a little squirmy when thinking about extricating myself from. The economy is the biggest reason over all, of course, as I don't have the resources to move right now (but six months down the line? Quite possible). On top of everything there's the issue of actually having a job lined up and waiting for me up there, which seems like the most complicated part of everything. Especially since I would love to move into something closer to my interests instead of contracting, but I have no experience -- and more importantly, no degree.

So who knows.

Maybe our pendants will take off and become a full time job. ;D

---

Anyway. I feel a coma coming on, then I should probably get my car washed, and I'll need to head to the store to get food for tonight at some point as well. I'm going to allow myself a few more hours of introverted worrying/thinking before forcing myself into a better mood.

Annnnd... that update should cover the next several months, right? ;D

Sparse introduction:

Awhile ago I reopened my okcupid account, but soon ran out of interest in updating it when I realized I'd have to try to describe myself in a flattering way to the opposite sex, and I really didn't have the energy to be that creative. So I stuck a few photos up and this paltry profile description and pretty much abandoned it:

"My profile, much like me, is a work in progress.

And I would have liked to just leave that there until I get some time to figure out what it is that I actually have to say about myself, but that is apparently too short. Go figure."

Behold, now, two samples from my inbox:

----

Not sure why I opened your profile,
but glad I did cause one of your pics
the one where you have your tongue out..
shows what looks like some tremendous
boobs. Love that.
And you have a pretty face too.
Not sure how this hits you, don't think
it should be too far out there.
Not sure I care either...but I thought
I'd send the compliment.

Um. Skeevy.

----

I was just browsing, and noticed your profile. Your pics are very pretty, and you sound like a very nice person. I especially like your eyes, but I'm guessing you get that a lot...
anyway, do you mind if I ask your name?

Seems pretty innocent, right? So I go to check out his profile, and he admits he's married flat out but hasn't had sex in a year and so thusly is "available".

I'm still trying to figure out how he figured I was a very nice person from the two lines in my profile, and if he thought I was such a nice person, why he feels like maybe I'd help him cheat on his wife.

Skeeved out. Big time.

Me: Dad. DAD. I am going to cry so hard okay not really but I will be very upset if Chuck gets canceled, and it's on the bubble right now and I'm worried because stupid NBC and its stupid decision to do away with five viable hours of programming to put Leno on at ten every weekday, and boy do I need a life...
Dad: Oh, I don't like that show. It's stupid.
Me: WHAT?! Okay, you gotta watch the full first season, I'm adding it to the queue. Because I know it wasn't the best thing ever first season, and second season's gotten so much better, but... but. You'll like it, I promise, you probably just didn't know what was going on when you watched it before.
Dad: ...eh. I just don't like how stupid he is. He's always making an ass of himself.
Me: Well... I mean, that's sort of the point, right? He's not really a spy, he's just an everyday guy who-- what?
Dad: ...oh. I'm thinking of the wrong show. What's the one with that office guy?
Me: The Office.
Dad: Yeah. I don't like him. He's stupid.

My dad and I have been watching Taken, a mini-series from a few years back produced by Spielberg and dealing with the Roswell incident, following three families over a period of fifty years. Pretty nifty, and very long. It also had Dakota Fanning as a very special little girl named Allie Keys, who had voice overs woven throughout every episode, even long before we saw her on screen.

A lot of the quotes are pretty awesome, actually. I couldn't resist sharing some.

---

"When you're little, you like to think you know everything, but the last thing you really want is to know too much. What you really want is for grown-ups to make the world a safe place where dreams can come true and promises are never broken. And when you're little, it doesn't seem like a lot to ask."

"What makes a man who he is? Is it the worst things he's ever done, or the best things he wants to be? When you find yourself in the middle of your life and you're nowhere near of where you were going, how do you find the way from the person you've become to the one you know you could have been?"

"People are lonely in this world for lots of different reasons. Some people have something in their disposition. Maybe they were just born too mean, or maybe they were born too tender. But most people are brought to where they are by circumstance, by calamity or a broken heart or something else happening in their lives that wasn't anything they planned on. People are lonely in this world for lots of different reasons. The one thing that I do know is, it doesn't matter what any one of them might tell you--nobody wants to be alone."

"We're all standing on the edge of a cliff, all the time, every day, a cliff we're all going over. Our choice isn't about that. Our choice is about whether we want to go kicking and screaming or whether we might want to open our eyes and our hearts to what happens once we start to fall."

"Sometimes people come to a moment where they think they've found that one last chance to be someone else. And they go for it. When it doesn't work out, they spend the rest of their lives looking back over their shoulder at what might've been."

"People move through their lives sometimes without really thinking about where they're going. Days pile up, and they get sadder and lonelier without really knowing why they're so sad or how they got so lonely. Then something happens. They meet someone who looks a certain way or has something in their smile. Maybe that's all that falling in love is; finding someone who makes you feel a little less alone."

I can tell I'm restless when I look at my nightstand and see three books stacked there, because I can't decide what to read next.

The other day (before I went to the Barnes & Noble up in Burbank and grabbed the first Thursday Next book, The Eyre Affair, on Val's recommendation and thusly settled on that) I had Naked, At Swim, Two Boys, and Bag of Bones all stacked there. Quite the menagerie, I know.

When I pulled Bag of Bones from the shelf, it was with half a mind on the known, the comfortable. It's one of my very favorite books, and I'm one of those people that think that King is incredibly underrated. I know, I know, he's a bestselling author. But his stuff is generally considered pulp by anyone with their nose in the air when it comes to books (and I find that quite a lot people who still read more than one book a year are like that) . Obviously a lot of this has to do with his commercial success and especially with his chosen genre. But there's a lot to many of his stories, riding just underneath the surface. He knows very well the human condition, and it's woven straight through each and every one of his novels.

My copy is dog-eared and full of post-it notes. I'd forgotten about the post-its, and still can't remember if they had any reason once upon a time... was I going to do an LJ post about the quotes I liked the most (as I am going to do now)? Was I putting them there just to draw my attention the next time I read through the book? I don't know. (Have I already done a post about this years ago and have since forgotten? Likely.)

Some of them I can't quite explain why I like so much. Some of them I think don't make a lot of sense outside of the book, having no reference about Mike Noonan's (the main character and narrator) tone throughout the rest of the story. But I'll post them just the same, because I am still feeling restless and it's something to do.

---

I don't call people for help. It's not because of the way I was raised, at least I don't think so; it's the way I was made. Johanna once said that if I was drowning at Dark Score Lake, where we have a summer home, I would die silently fifty feet out from the public beach rather than yell for help. It's not a question of love or affection. I can give those and I can take them. I feel pain like anyone else. I need to touch and be touched. But if someone asks me, "Are you all right?" I can't answer no. I can't say help me.
pg. 15

According to gloomy old Dennison Carville, the aspiring novelist should understand from the outset that fiction's goals were forever beyond his reach, that the job was an exercise in futility. "Compared to the dullest human being actually walking about on the face of the earth and casting his shadow there," Hardy supposedly said, "The most brilliantly drawn character in a novel is but a bag of bones."
pg. 45

. . . part of me was still a writer, I guess, and a writer is a man who has taught his mind to misbehave.
pg. 89

"Jo?" I said, and hearing her name made me shiver so violently that I almost dropped the Memo-Scriber. "Jo, was that you?"
Nothing. No phantom hands patting my skin, no motion from the curtains... where there certainly would have been if there had been an actual draft. All was quiet. There was only a tall man with a sweaty face and a tape-recorder under his arm standing in the doorway of a bare room... but that was when I first began to really believe that I wasn't alone in Sara Laughs.
So what? I asked myself. Even if it should be true, ghosts can't hurt anyone.
That's what I thought then.
pg. 179

Never let em see you sweat., the Noonan clan's motto. Someone should carve DON'T WORRY I'M FINE on the door of the family crypt.
pg. 231

This is how we go on: one day at a time, one meal at a time, one pain at a time, one breath at a time. Dentists go on one root-canal at a time; boat-builders go on one hull at a time. If you write books, you go on one page at a time. We turn from all we know and all we fear. We study catalogues, watch football games, choose Sprint over AT&T. We count the birds in the sky and will not turn from the window when we hear the footsteps behind us as something comes up the hall; we say yes, I agree that clouds often look like other things-fish and unicorns and men on horseback-but they are really only clouds. Even when the lightning flashes inside them we say they are only clouds and turn our attention to the next meal, the next pain, the next breath, the next page.
This is how we go on.
pg. 361
"Thinking is half your problem, Mike," she said, and laughed again. Ruefully, I thought. And I saw what she meant. What she didn't seem to understand was that feeling was the other half. It's a sling, and in the end I think it rocks most of us to death.
pg. 527

Katherine:  ITS OKAY
KIM ITS OKAY

You know, since this also posts there and I've already shared some BVA links there this afternoon. Whatever! You you will like it, slobbering minions!

Anyway. I was thinking the other day while driving home about Val's 30th birthday, trying to drum up some ideas to suggest to her, when I started to think about what I would do on my 30th. You know, providing I get there and money isn't an issue anymore. The very first thought was HELL YEAH, BVA LAWNCHAIRS AND LIVING ROOMS TOUR BABY! Which, you know, is perhaps not too realistic. One, I have no idea if he's even still going to be doing those summer months tours in three years, and then, I'm pretty sure he doesn't fly out for them specifically but rather fits them in around his tour. So unless he's in San Diego in November of '11... Two, I dunno how much he charges; the only reference point I have is the Lonesome Travellers asking price five years ago (I was lucky enough to go to one of those shows, when some guy had it at his house up in North County. In fact, I'm pretty sure we gave Griff and Paul a ride up to the house... my memory's a bit muddy on that, but I seem to recall Paul riding shotgun to me while I mentally flipped out about making sure I was driving safely. If not, that was just a really odd dream). I have no idea if it's similar.

But, you know, wishes. :D Besides, after reading the following excerpt from Brian's journal below, how can you not understand why a show like this would be awesome (putting aside whether you actually like his music or not):

so, i arrive in a suburb outside of indianapolis and am invited into a long time fan’s home. it’s a really nice set-up, with a small pa system on the deck, and various friends and family members and their children gathered in lawn chairs, ready for me to play to help celebrate the host’s birthday. I play, the kids run around, the adults listen and it’s really a great experience. to be invited into a stranger’s home and be welcomed that way is a tremendous feeling. I play all of his requests…well, mostly…and then i unplug the guitar and eat some cake and put the guitar back on and play for small groups of attendees milling about. it’s really fun playing cover tunes, taking requests and whatnot, having people sing along. it’s so much better than the smokey clubs, rowdy assholes who talk over you, pool table, television blaring rediculous club scene. i may never go back. i have such little desire to go out and bang my head on the wall in places that could care less that i was there. this is a DRUG. this is what it should be about. it’s just music, being played on an acoustic guitar. why do we need a stage, and lights and amplification? why do we need that seperation between performer and crowd? i get very little satisfaction out of it. i don’t need to be four feet above everyone’s head as i play. just give me a living room, and chair, and some fans, and i’m the happiest songwriter, ex-rockstar that ever lived.

This could be fun!

Leave one memory that you and I had together...whether you're tagged or not.

It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Don't send a message, leave a comment on here. Next, re-post this in your notes and see how many people leave a memory about you!

(Cross-posted LJ and Facebook.)

I had the day off of work today, because I'm only working twenty hours this week and thusly got to go home at 2:00 yesterday, and am off today and tomorrow. Which is really cool in one sense, yay free time, but really troubling in another.

Anyway. I've been extremely hyper all day long, antsy, twitchy, can't sit still. It's making it hard to get anything done. And normally I'd spend the day in WoW, but... you know. I love WoW, always will, and I like a lot of stuff about the expansion, but it just feels different than BC did in that I don't log in just to farm stuff, or whatnot. I log in pretty much now to raid and that's about it. I have a feeling that maybe it's just time to stop, that that's the sign. But we'll see. I'm an officer in my guild, so I don't want to leave them hanging, but even that's falling apart. Maybe I'd be happier if I didn't have the obligation to raid and could just go casual, then log in simply to hang out with all the cool people I know (for instance, I'd miss Danny like crazy, though he's on Facebook and I can bother him there).

So I surfed the web, and I watched youtube, and I watched my Live Feed on Facebook because I really love seeing what everyone's up to and interacting with them in small ways, and I edited my myspace profile finally, and I read some logs, and I... puttered. Bullied Val (not really) into coming on AIM to chat with me, etc. I mentioned to her how freakin' hyper I was, and that I think I needed to start using my Live Journal again. Because I posted that 25 things meme and wrote a freakin' book on it, and it occured to me that maybe I have some things to say again. Even if it's just for the amusement of my friends, or my own self-amusement looking back through archives.

I recently read back through most of my LJ archives... it was amazing. One, I can be extremely obnoxious. But I can be pretty funny sometimes, too. Probably funnier to myself because I know every inside joke like the back of my hand. Also, I had almost, almost forgotten how much crazy shit I used to get up to. It all somewhat seems a bit like a dream. I've grown up a lot, and with great aging has come great responsibility (/rimshot). I think that's why I'm suddenly so gung ho over this whole California day trips thing Val wants to start doing. I feel a distinct need to get some of that fun back into my life. I mean, coming home and hanging out with my dad and not really leaving is great and all because I can be a homebody, but it's totally due to money restrictions. I'm starting to get that DO SOMETHING itch again.

I want a Big Damn Adventure.

So anyway. I'm going to fill out a few memes that I've been linked to lately, and we'll see if my posting on here goes back up again. I also should probably figure this Twitter thing out, because it'd be better to actually tweet instead of using my FB status as a poor man's Twitter as I have been lately.

MAH ICONS.

default	oldest	newest
saddest	happiest	angriest
cutest	sexiest	funniest
fave ship	fave fandom	fave animated
best quote	best textless	best stolen idea
use the most	favorite

HOW MANY ICONS DO YOU HAVE: 80
OUT OF HOW MANY AVAILABLE ICONS SPACES: 118
IF YOU COULD BUY SPACE FOR MORE, WOULD YOU: Nope!
DO YOUR ICONS MAKE A STATEMENT: Yeah, that I'm a huge geek.
WHAT FANDOM DO YOU HAVE THE MOST ICONS OF: Yeah, that'd be Doctor Who.
AND THE SECOND MOST: Ewan.
WHAT SHIP DO YOU HAVE THE MOST ICONS OF: Tenth Doctor/Rose
ARE YOUR ICONS MADE MOSTLY BY OTHER PEOPLE: Oh yes.
DO YOU MAKE ICONS: Nope, but I have in the past. I just don't on a regular basis.
ARE THEY ANY GOOD: Eh.
ANIMATED ICONS ARE: Usually annoying. I'm very picky.

DO THE MEME.
Coding can be found here


---

I tried really hard not to put them ALL as Doctor Who, since that's the majority of my icons. Most of these I rarely use. I have icons I have never used before, but they're so pretty... they just sit there. Maybe if I ever start posting again with any frequency, then I'll update them all again.

First off:

Words cannot describe how much I loved Australia. Baz has my heart forever. :) And it's funny, it's exactly like Moulin Rouge! The first half hour you're like, "What the..." (due both to Baz's sillyness, and Nullah's narration -- the accent and slang I really had to get used to), then it calms down and before you know it you're at the edge of your seat. Let's just say that it's been years since I've been in a theater where the audience broke out into applause at the end. Funny that, last time that happened it was Moulin Rouge! Fun coincidence! :D

I'm a bit peeved at the reviews, though. Seems that they still don't get Baz's genius. But the same thing happened with MR, and that walked away with numerous Oscar nods, so. (Speaking of MR's Oscar nominations, I just read about a damn funny quote Baz gave in reference to his lead actress and the movie itself getting Oscar nods, while he didn't receive one for Directing: "Guess the movie just directed itself!")

My geek heart is proud of myself for recognizing the Argentinian, too. Because he surely didn't look nearly the same, and I spent every scene he was in trying to figure it out for sure if it was him. It was, so I should have trusted my gut, when he uttered his first lines in the movie and I recognized his voice. He got old, though. Man.

---

So today I went to breakfast, then shopping, then the movie, then more shopping with Katie. I only bought a few things -- the start of my limited Christmas shopping this year. I am pretty pleased with what I did find, though!

All in all, we left around 9:30 and got back around 9:00. My legs are killing me. I haven't walked like that in ages. I feel like I just came back from Disneyland. Oy!

And while I had a great time, and I've been doing okay with distracting myself this last week (with only one or two big slip ups, which pissed Dax off... eek), I'm still.... numb.

I came home, looked up some stuff relating to the movie (like where in the hell did they find Brandon Walters, who was WONDERFUL as Nullah), checked my WoW auctions but grew bored with the idea of playing just then, scanned through some Midnight Sun, and watched an episode of SVU. And now here I sit, almost ready to go to bed here in a few minutes, ready to curl up with my book and try not to feel that nagging emptiness. I've done well with not bursting into the sissy-la-la tears anymore, but I just... I dunno. Every few hours I pause in whatever I'm doing, feeling that overwhelming hurt wash through me again, and struggle not to lose it. I still feel like I can't breathe.

It'll be okay. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. But tonight I'm empty, and probably many more nights to come. And I hate it more than I've ever hated anything else.

current clothing: Light green henly style shirt with buttons and a low neckline (hello cleavage!). Dark blue jeans. No socks, no shoes.
current mood: Exhausted.
current taste: White chocolate mocha.
current hair: In need of a cut.
current annoyance: Myself. Being stupid. Being weak. Making it worse.
current smell: The rain.
current thing you ought to be doing: Sleeping, probably. I'll go hunker down on the couch with my laptop and Alias in a bit.
current jewelry: My Katya bracelet.
current book: Twilight. I'm gonna re-read it again as a refresher for how it differed from the movie. Oh, shuttup. All my books are down at Loma Paseo still. Like I said to Katie earlier, "OH PLEASE. If he sparkled in your direction YOU'D SWOON DAMMIT!" ;D
current refreshment: Cold white chocolate mocha. Ugh. It's cold because I got it on my way home. Making the mistake of pulling into the Starbucks where Dax and I had our first kiss. UGH.
current worry: Ha.
current crush: Oh, wow. Well. I watched the second episode from this season of Desperate Housewives to see Gale Harold last night. And wowee. He's just as beautiful as I remember. It makes me want to watch QAF again, because Brian Kinney is still one of my favorite characters ever. Plus, he's purty...
current favorite celebrity: I will probably always cite Ewan. But Gale's up there. Oh, man, it changes depending on the day!
current longing: Normalcy. Or, well, hm. How to describe it. Because we (hopefully still we, at least down the road...) need to get away from the routine, inject some excitement back. So not quite "normalcy", but I want to feel normal again. Not this bursting into sissy la-la tears every few hours. I want comfort and security. I'm working on that on my own, in regards to some other things (people...). But I'm not there yet.
current music: "Viva la Vida" -- Coldplay
current wish: A hug.
current lyric in your head: "One minute I held the key, next the walls were closed on me, and I discovered that my castles stand, upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand..." <3 this song.
current makeup: None.
current undergarments: Black bra, light green undies.
current regret: Hastiness.
current desktop picture: This one. I KNOW HE SPARKLES AND IT'S KINDA DUMB BUT I <3 THE CULLENS LEAVE ME ALONE!! ;D Speaking of, totally owe R. a response email...
current plans for tonight: Heading to "bed" soon.
current plans for weekend: I dunno... something with Katya. Maybe moving some of my stuff, if I think that it's okay to do so. Don't wanna make it worse.
current cuss word du jour: Fuck. As in, "Fuck fat Smith! Fuck him up the ass!"
current disappointment: Nobody here to rub my very, very tense neck/shoulders. Personal masseuse for Christmas, kk?
current amusement: My dad. When he came in and Danny messaged me on Facebook, I was like, "Ooo, my friend Danny! He's from Calgary." and my dad goes, "Oh god, don't you go marrying one of them too!"
current IM/person you're talking to: Danny Malin! Yay!
current love: Oh, fuck, let's not wallow. My doggie lubs me. I came home the last few days to find him camping out at the front door. Dad says as soon as it gets dark, he heads over there and waits.
current obsession: Dexter and TrueBlood. OMFG best episodes evar!!
current avoidance: Reality.
current thing or things on your wall:  Nothing yet. I'm sure I'll find stuff to put back up when I move stuff into my room and decorate.
current favorite book: ::hangs head:: Go ahead, mock me.

---

I found these in a saved draft. I'd been going through the political version of icanhascheezburger.com, and was going to post them awhile back, then got distracted. Apparently. They're still funny and relevant. :) But because they're big, behind a cut they go:

( Politico! )

Someone in Vent yesterday told me that he's worried what this will mean, Obama as president, for the rest of the world. That it could incite racial wars and whatnot. To which I say, "...huh?"

He's apparently not sitting up and taking notice that I've seen countless congratulatory notes like the following (ganked from the comments in a post with a ton of wonderful photos of Obama):

Soooo.

I'm turning 27 on Saturday (and btw, OMFG WHEN DID I GET THIS OLD?!).

Being that I've been sick and feeling rather icky for the last week+, I have no idea what, if anything, I am doing.

Any ideas? Hell, anyone bother to keep that day free?

I posted the following on Fark.com's super-rad traditional scary stories Halloween thread. I'm sure I've talked about this before, but...

---

Back in the early 80's, my mother, my Aunt Donna, and two of my brothers (Jason and Steve) went to visit a woman named Adele Tinning. Adele was a renowned medium and "table tipper", meaning she would place her hands palm down over her kitchen table, and the table would lift beneath them. She would channel spirits this way, using the table to communicate by letting the spirit lift the table and then tapping its legs back down... usually one tap signalling yes, and two signalling no (I've not done much research on Adele myself, so this is all coming from my aunt's recollection).

So from what I understand, during this session Adele channeled the spirit of my brothers' father for a little bit, who died when Jason was still in the womb, at only twenty-two years of age. This choked my mother up, and so they moved on and let the spirit of my grandfather through.

As you can see in the pictures below, there was limited room around the table, so Jason was seated in the doorway leading out of the breakfast nook where the table was in an extra chair. During the channeling of my grandfather, Jason spoke up to say that although he was very young when Grandpa passed, he had some vague recollections of sitting in his lap eating red-stained pistachios, while Grandpa let him steal small sips of his beer.

I don't have a picture of what happened next, unfortunately (though you can see in the latter photo that the table is definitely NOT resting on the ground as it should be)... but there is audio tape I have listened to where you can hear the whole thing happen. The table lifted itself up so far on Adele's side that she had to take her hands off of it, and she and my mother scooted their chairs away as the table moved on two legs towards Jason in the doorway. He immediately freaked out and put his hands up, but it didn't get quite close enough for him to touch it. It just swayed there slightly on its two legs, with the top of the table now facing my brothers held-up hands. He says that he will never, ever forget the sound of Adele's voice (since he couldn't see her then, as the table was blocking his view of her):

"Your grandfather remembers. He's giving you a hug."

Now, seeing as I was about three at the time, I'll never be able to completely buy that this happened since I didn't see it with my own eyes. But... but... my family don't suffer no fools. And that table is definitely lifted off the ground in that photo.

https://secure.ga4.org/01/underattack?source=emaila

(Click on the video capture top right, and prepare your brown paper sack to puke into.)

I'm sick to my stomach.

The sign in the background about "Conditioning children is their objective. Protecting them is ours." is a nice touch. I mean, fuck, THEY'RE ONTO US. And here we'd hoped that by this time ten years from now, we'd have an army of barely legal gays to storm all the state capitals with and rewrite the constitution to make it so that ONLY gays can get married. And, of course, look utterly fabulous in their boas while doing so.

Jesus.